


Alright

by Teary_Autumns



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, M/M, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 03:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10585164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teary_Autumns/pseuds/Teary_Autumns
Summary: Five times Tord almost died and the one time he did





	

**Author's Note:**

> This one isn't as confusing as the last one.
> 
> Enjoy!

  
1.

Tom remembers it quite vividly, the look of fear in Tord's eyes, the thud of when Tord hit the ground, and the silence that followed afterwards.n

It had been quite stupid, a small mistake, really. It had started as a dumb joke of playing around on the roof of their house, even if Edd had told them various times to get down, they didnt really care.

Tom had dared for Matt to hold Tord over the edge, which he actually did. Tord instantly started panicking, while Tom was laughing at how Tord tried to swing back onto the roof but missed and ended up kicking Matt.

Which made him let go of Tord.

Tom heard a slight yelp, a thud, and then absolute silence.

They both climbed down quickly, only to find Tord unconscious with various bruises beginning to form and a tear on the front of his hoodie.

Tom quickly hoisted Tord in his arms with Matt following close behind. They brought him inside the house quietly, in attempt to hide from Edd but unfortunately he was sitting in the kitchen and rushed to see what had happened.

It hadn't been something horrible, just a mild concussion and bruises that covered his face and side.

_He was alright._

2.

The second time had been completely by accident, if Tord hadn't been listening to music while crossing the road he would've heard the car coming from the left.

It all happened so quickly, the last thing he remembered was his entire left side blooming in agony.

It wasn't until hours later that he woke up to the strong smell of antiseptic.

_The smell of a hospital._

He tried moving is left arm but pain shot up his arm all the way to his shoulder blade. He let out a small moan of pain and opened his eyes, but closing them afterwards due to the bright light overhead.

"Hey"

Tord jolted slightly but calmed quickly as he recognized the voice.

Tom, right.

He heard Tom sigh, "you got ran over a few days ago, and I've been here all this time, be thankful," he heard footsteps, "your left leg, arm, and lower ribs are broken" he felt a callused hand grip his, "I thought you were dead, commie" Tom sighed, "I'm glad your okay" 

"It was a few days ago?" Tord opened his eyes that were starting to fill with tears, "I thought I was dead too." He took a look at Tom's 'eyes' and was genuinely surprised, "are you...crying...?"

Tom smiled slightly, "I should be asking you the same thing" he used his other hand to wipe the tears that were in the corners of Tord's eyes.

Tord smiled back and gripped Tom's hand tighter.

_Tord was okay._

3.

The third time was terrifying, he had been on a flight to Norway when the plane malfunctioned and started descending, far too quickly.

He remembers people screaming or so shocked that they sat emotionless.

He remembers the pilot reassuring them through the intercoms, but it failed miserably, it was barely audible over the screaming.

Tord felt his chest tighten and he felt genuine fear, he tried so hard to be positive but he almost knew no one would survive.

He took a glance out the window and he felt like he was going to throw up.

_It looked terrifying._

He was crying, he felt completely numb, he tried so hard to convince himself that he would see his friends again but he couldn't, so he bared himself for the worst.

The crash sounded horrific, it was things that were permanent in his mind.

_Blood._

_Screaming._

But he survived, and it wasn't only him, it was other people as well.

Not everyone, but he was so thankful that some of them survived.

Thankful that he _survived._

He was so glad, but he felt so selfish, because he was happy that it wasn't him that died.

Tord glanced around, only to find some people completely drenched in blood, he felt sick, so he gently leaned his head back on the ground until he heard a helicopter about 30 minutes later.

Months later he still felt awful from that experience, he has dreams about it, he has dreams about himself dying.

_He hated it._

But slowly recovered from it, with help of Tom who would stay with him at night or help him throughout the days.

It was a slow recovery, but he accomplished it.

He still has nightmares sometimes, but his friends don't need to worry about him even more.

_Tord had seen better days._

4.

The fourth time it happened, it was purposeful.

He doesn't remember, but Tom, Matt and Edd do.

Everytime he asks about it, they always change the subject because none of them like remembering and think it's better if Tord will never know.

But it lingers so much in Tom's mind that he's terrified that Tord will try again.

_It had been about 7 months since Tom and Tord had started dating. Tom doesn't know the reason and he honestly doesn't want to know._

_He remembers the gunshot that rang throughout the house._

_He remembers Tord's red hoodie, getting soaked with his own blood._

_He remembers Tord's breath slowing._

He can't erase the memory of Tord dying in his own arms, he wants to forget, he wants to stop remembering everytime he looks at Tord.

It makes him sick.

And feels terrified everytime he thinks about what could've made Tord want to end his own life.

5.

The fifth time was figuratively.

He wasn't dying, not literally at least.

But it felt as if he was.

Leaving his friends was one of the hardest things he had ever done.

But it had be done, or at least that's what he made himself believe.

As he drove away he took a glance at the rearview mirror and Tom looked furious, Edd looked sad, while Matt looked genuinely confused.

He looked at the road and sighed as he felt warm tears trickle down his cheeks.

He gripped the steering wheel tighter and let out a shaky breath.

It was him on his own now.

It was better this way, no one had to worry about him.

_'I'm fine.'_

He can't even make _himself_ believe that.

+1.

He doesn't want to remember.

He can't.

He was just planning to return and leave a few days later but it backtracked and something in him flipped.

He didn't want their care anymore.

He didn't want anyone or anything.

He was broken.

It had been years since he saw them.

Then why did he want to get rid of them?

Why did he want to get rid of Tom?

_Why?_

He felt tired and he was sure he wasn't thinking straight anymore.

It was so _difficult._

His mind was a mess that when he shot that missile he felt sick.

He felt a lot of things come back to him.

He felt like _himself_ again.

It was scary to see what he had turned into.

But it wasn't scarier than hearing Tom yell, "IM NOT YOUR FRIEND" only later to be followed by a searing pain in his chest.

He looked down and saw a blood covered harpoon.

But it was _protruding_ out of his chest.

He was speechless.

But happy, happy that he wasn't going to live anymore.

Happy to stop being who he was.

Happy to finally leave his friends, forever.

Happy that no one would care about him.

Happy to _finally_ die after all.

After all those near death experiences, one of them finally killed him.

But what he didn't expect was to be killed by someone who had been by his side for so long.

_Killed by someone he loved._

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I thought it was kinda bad actually, but I really appreciated the kudos and comments on the last one I posted. Thanks! 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr as rainy-bridges
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> (Send me requests on Tumblr, I write when I'm bored and I'm actually on break this week)


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